Sunshine

by Bob Degree

  The waves crashing against the shore were loud enough to drown out the crackle of wood burning in the fireplace. Johnny never imagined he’d be fortunate enough to relax in a home like this. Sitting on a glassed-in deck fifty feet above the lapping tides, he sipped his coffee and pondered what lay ahead. The journey that brought him here felt like a dream—or perhaps an illusion.

   Johnny came from Ireland, the son of a small farmer. The farm survived only through grueling sixteen-hour days, the family working tirelessly just to stay one step ahead and keep the wolves from the door. He had always been the loyal son, the kind who would never stray from family or friends, even at his own expense.

   At twenty-eight, one fateful night changed everything. A faulty electrical outlet started a fire in the family home, claiming the lives of both his parents. A night where fate cursed his clan by destroying all they had built—including the nest egg of savings kept in a bright green, gallon-sized canister in a closet by the kitchen.

   Johnny was now homeless and penniless. He only had a few dollars in the pants he’d escaped the house in. Emotionally distraught, he had just lost the only anchors he had ever known. Everything in his life had been drained of any value and with no insurance on the farm his path forward was void of purpose and meaning. All he had for motivation to move forward was the memory of love, loyalty and family. 

   The next few days and months were full of sadness and desperation. He moved from one town to another as a hired hand as that was the only skill he had honed. The only time Johnny smiled was when he thought of the words that his Da shared with him. “If you have to work, work hard and always keep a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, it will help the toil be more tolerable.” These words and many others kept his soul from sinking deep enough to drown him in the waves of life that at point seemed like they may overwhelm him and carry him out to the deep dark sea of an áit thíos. Everyday was a struggle to keep his soul in this realm even when the most powerful desire he had was to join his Da and Ma. 

  “One step in front of another, you can do it.” Then he woke to find himself alone, sitting beneath a tree at the edge of a cliff. Below him stretched the vaunted ocean—an end to all his challenges, perhaps. The waves and jagged rocks seemed inviting, yet he chose to follow the guidance from the words in his dream. He stood up and walked in the opposite direction—the one that had brought him here, to this beautiful house in California beside the water that could mark either an ending or a new beginning.

   After that fateful day by the cliff Johnny decided that he needed to find a new and meaningful path for his life, one that will be the engine that will move his existence forward. After all this time with life's vehicle in reverse it was time to put it in drive.

With his mind focused on tomorrow instead of the heart ache of yesterday he could be seen and heard skipping down the street, singing a song from his childhood. He was determined to reach a place that would instill pride in his family that were looking down on him from na flaithis.

   Moments in life are precious, and time slips by so fast. Circumstances come up and can shorten that time considerably. Johnny was fully aware of this. One day, while walking down Main Street singing a version of “Wild Rover” that his Da would sing after a pint or two, a young woman stopped him and commented on how beautiful his voice sounded. Johnny's face turned bright pink with embarrassment, but he respectfully said thank you. She then offered to buy him a pint. Johnny refused at first, knowing he had little self-worth to share with such a kind soul. She then said, “My name is Sarah, and I'd like to hear your story and find out how you sing the old songs so well.”

   Again, Johnny, being polite and humble, said, “That was kind of you to say, but I'm really not much of a singer, Sarah. Blessings to you, my new friend.”

   As he started to walk away, a voice in his head told him to turn around and share himself with this person. “You have value.”

   “Wow,” Johnny thought. That voice sounded familiar, just like the one by the tree on the cliff. He turned back and for the first time he noticed Sarah’s blazing red locks and the striking warmth of her bright blue eyes. Johnny accepted her offer then held the door for her as they walked in the pub. The self doubt that had embedded itself in the years since the fire, created a passiveness that challenged Johnny to believe in himself, if only outwardly because if he didn't, no one would give him a chance and he might have just as well jumped off the cliff when he had the chance.

  Sarah broke the fragile ice first. This was her first time in Dublin, and she shared some of her life story, which, to Johnny, seemed far more blessed than his. As she spun her yarn, Johnny's wall, which he had once put up to protect his vulnerable feelings, started to come down brick by brick. It was a deliberate disassembly, slow and marked by a few pauses that indicated Johnny's lingering lack of trust in the fate he had once experienced.

  Then, at a moment of awkwardness in their conversation, the band at the pub launched into a version of a song that Johnny had heard more times in his life than most, since it was his parents' favorite. “Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling,” Johnny, without hesitation, started singing, figuring it was better than telling Sarah his story. It was sung so beautifully that the band stopped suddenly, yet Johnny kept singing. People just got quiet and listened to the smooth, meaningful way that Johnny put his soul into the lyrics. There were a lot of tears rolling down folks’ cheeks, both bloke and lass alike.

  In Johnny's mind, he was singing it to his Ma, returning the favor, as when she was alive, she would sing it to him often. Eventually, others joined in, and the final voice was an angelic, soft, and soulful voice that started singing in harmony with Johnny. As the song reached its final note, Sarah kissed him, and he felt that the storms of his life had turned into rainbows and sunshine. 

  The coffee tasted good looking over the glassed in deck where the waves crashed against the rocks, ones that he considered killing himself on. This made Johnny smile knowing that the water in some way had a part in his life. Whether it was the liquid that hit the rocks that he almost impaled himself on or the pellets of water that changed rain into rainbows with the help of sunshine, His sunshine, Sarah.

We all need a little more sunshine in our lives don't we.

The end or is it just the beginning.